YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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