That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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