Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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