Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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