I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
