it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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