I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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