you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
