i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
