I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
