literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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