Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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