I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
