i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
