i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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