Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
now i know why i became what i already was.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
