I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
