Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
