FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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