small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize