check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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