Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
