Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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