he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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