Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
