That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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