I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
