my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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