Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
