you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
