maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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