On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
