You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
