He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
