Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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