Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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