you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
