as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
