It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
