I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
