woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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