He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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