He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
And then he peed in my hair
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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