Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
3 2 1 whiskey
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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