I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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