Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
