My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
is that a dick in a sweater?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
