Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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