Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
