ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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