Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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