Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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