K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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