i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
