I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we're so committed to being not committed
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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