alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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