I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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