you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
